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Image by Dr. Madhukar Shukla, XLRI.
Its the same mood again. Something's wrong. Somewhere. I want to write. And there's nothing. Or, probably, there's too much. This is the third time I'm putting up this caveat in this blog -
do not proceed if you do not have time for shit. The placement season is on. Pressures and emotions are high. But if it weren't for pressure, wouldn't a diamond still be coal? There are only five seniors I respect like anything, whom I want to see big in life. They deserve every bit of it. One is still left, waiting to be 'placed' - as if we are commodities waiting to be placed on a FMCG shelf. Better the 'package', more the 'shelf space'. Better the 'brand', more at the 'eye-level'. And that we are - tradable commodities ever-ready to sell ourselves. The whole system is flawed. Do I have a solution? But, if I am not a part of the cure, am I necessarily a part of the disease? Guess I am. Guess everyone is. Committees' elections are approaching. The people are a lot nicer. They need votes. They need friends. Why don't I have
friends? Why do people have friends? I've seen 'friendship' stoop real low here. Bitching behind backs is a custom. The better your grades are, the more number of friends you have. Do I need such phonies? Am I alone? Am I lonely? I entered the Yahoo! chat room after ages. Was disgusted by the plethora of bots and despo males. Get a life, you morons, or get a porn CD!!! I don't feel like watching a movie. Is it the same me? Guess no. I've changed. Why can't I be the same person again? Why the heck do I keep on harping the same and crib? Why do I want to be the same? Why can't I accept change to be the only constant and move on? Why do I blog? Why do I have to scribble shit that would make no sense to anyone, whatsoever. And even if it does, can they ever share my frame of reference? Can they see things as I want them to see? They can't. Can I see things like they do? I can't. We're fuckin' normal. That's what we are - trapped in normalcy! I've screwed up this academic year real bad. Can I recover? Do I want to recover? Do I have the balls to put in the effort? Where am I heading? Am I lost? Or, are they lost - the rats in the race? I've started reading random blogs. Lots of them.Trying to relate to more and more strangers - the 'weird' ones. The un-understood ones. I'm loving it. I feel attached to them. Some of them feel like real close ones. Its a shame I cant let them know that. Everything sucks! As someone said: life is like a nigger's left bum - it ain't right and it ain't fair!
Dude, cheer up. And guess what the beat way to do that is - keep working. And I don't mean really useful stuff like studying (though it'd be good if you could). Just keep yourself engaged. Like they say in the adage- an idle mind is a devil's workshop.
ReplyDeleteYour writing is always amusing. :D
ReplyDeleteProbably not the best thing to say at the moment, but the most brutally honest. I like it, you have a raw sense of "don't care, I'm going to write exactly what and how I want to" attitude. C'est bien!
Life is arbit, life is random, life is unpredictable, life is a bitch. But that, my dear sir, is life. It's not fair, it's probably beyond repair and there's not enough time to change much. We're dealt our hands and we play the game, either as the proverbial rats or as the messiahs of free will. Right now, you and I are the rats, confused and haphazard though we may be, because we're running this race. We understand the politics, the back-biting. We don't want to be a part of it, but we are, without choice.
It's not fair, it's not right, and it's probably not possible to do much. It's life. :)
i would advise you to be one of the same 'phonies'. the world loves phonies. the world loves fakes. and thats the way you are going to succeed. this life, this world is not ideal. so stop being an idealist, if you are one.
ReplyDelete@Gurdit:"We don't want to be a part of it, but we are, without choice." I don't agree with you there. Your choices make you who you are, even if you're too scared to accept that.
ReplyDelete@ ishita: ya i guess! i'll keep myself busy...kal se :P
ReplyDelete@ gurdit: thanks mate! well said! but i refuse to be called a rat. i havent done squat to deserve the 'tag'! i agree with sakya...we have a choice to make and i already have.
@ for_sona: srry mate! will never be a phony though i wouldn;t call myself an idealist either!
@ sakya: agreed!
With all due respect to the ideal world scenario of our choices making us who we are...haven't we made the choice already? How many MBA students and/or MBA graduates do we know who have succeeded without being competitive or without the use of any politics? (I know the answer is not 'none', but it's 'not many at all'.)
ReplyDeleteThat being said, there's always time to make a new decision or change an old one. I'd like to think we're in XLRI just to learn how random life can get, and how it works and what we may need to do to succeed. Once we're out of here, we are governed by our choices, I hope.
well written!! the frustration and restlessness within are very visible. Its good. Its good because this is what makes you different from the rest. Atleast u question, u seek answers to seemingly obvious things. U challenge the customary ways.
ReplyDeleteYes, we are in a factory. A factory that produces so called management students to satisfy the needs of the big bad corporate world.Reminds me of "another brick in the wall".Its a race. But do we have an option?. or can we still be in the race and out of it at the same time?. is this a choice thrust upon us or we have made it on our own?.who decides.
the better the grades, more the number of friends is not what i agree to. u make friends to stand out in the election is again not quite true. yes there are phonies around. agreed. But trust me if u are genuine, the world will notice. If u want maxi,think maxi, dont think elections.
Grades. Yes u will recover but only if u dont look at grades.are u looking where u should? are u focussing in the right place?
when u read corporate finance. do u read beta and wacc? or do u read risk and return? hope i made my point.
I agree, life is not fair, its randomness exemplified. but how much sense we make out of this randomness is what sets us apart!!!!
I would say its just normal,we all are the same :)
ReplyDeleteSame same but different..
If your lost,its good..u knw sometimes u hve to get lost to find yourself :P
I suggest scribble more shit..just love to read them and vl try to connect to the frame of reference and do read more random blogs...tat really helps to connect with our self.
And remember 'dis too shall pass' :)
Weary of placements.. and wary of elections.. Your idol said "keep the faith".. do you? Have faith in people.. try it.
ReplyDelete@ gurdit: ur question of how many have "succeeded": doesn't it subtly assume the dimensions of "success". if success is all abt dashing CQs and dream jobs, point taken! once we are here, we are governed by our choices to a great extent.
ReplyDelete@ kuldeep: dats my favourite comment on my blog till date. thanks :) i just wish the frustration that sometimes arises by not being part of this race doesn't take its toll. the focus thing was really encouraging. i wish i get to look where i need to and make sense out of this randomness :)
@ dipa: same same but different :) i wish i find myself soon enough before its too late...thanks fr trying to connect :)
@ ganesh: my idol also said in the same song.."its hard to hold on when there's no one to lean on"...but point taken...will try :)
"Scribble"!! This is awesome. "Shit"!! Loved it. You have got a knack of writing my friend. You gotta keep the faith. Everything turns out o be alright in the long run.
ReplyDelete@ dharmarajanpaul: glad u liked it :) i just wish it does...!!
ReplyDeleteas dpaul said, everything works out in the end. if its doesnt screw you occasionally, you wont get the feel [:P]
ReplyDeletei guess! :)
ReplyDeletei like the picture more than the post..myt be coz i wanna draw n i cant..
ReplyDeletei just hope i wasn't bad wen u had this state of mind.
Kuch toh achcha laga tujhe...bas!
ReplyDelete"Some of them feel like real close ones. Its a shame I cant let them know that."
ReplyDeleteYou totally should..they'd be jumping up and down in glee.
Actually I'll come across as some internet freak! Its better this way!!
ReplyDelete