Monday, September 22, 2008

The Economics of Bankruptcy!

First it was the turn of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. Then busted the Lehmann and the AIG. And then doomed the VKG. World economy is, no doubt, in shambles.

Blissfully ignorant, VKG Private Limited was stunned to see its market value shrink to zero. Totally clueless about the commencement of this meltdown, there was chaos everywhere. VKG instantly formed a (one-member) committee – chaired by Sir Varun Kumar Gupta himself - to look into the matter.

The committee blamed the non- existence of any monetary policy and the profligacy in the liquor department for the present state of affairs. VKG had swamped the residential quarters(read: hostel E) with the demon drink when the deal with the NTPC(read: placement) went through. Mortgage crisis was another factor, albeit a minor one. Unrecovered loans to defaulters(read: friends) had started to pinch. The committee brought into light the prevailing scenario along the following discomfiting lines:

1. Revenues have shriveled. Stakeholders(read: parents) have refused to budge an inch from their adamant stand. IPOs(read: requests for financial aid) are no more entertained.

2. Suppliers of raw materials(read: cigarettes, cold drinks etc) have started the age-old pressure tactics. Shyam Da Canteen Corporation has threatened to slash off the supplies altogether.

3. Mess bills are due since the month of August. VKG faces starvation.

4. Inflation is making matters worse. Gold Flake has increased its price per unit by 16.67%.

5. Lay-offs have already begun. Mr. Washerman has been handed the pink slip.

6. Telephone communication with sister concerns(read: family and friends) have been minimized. Internet chatting is being encouraged.

7. Non-Performing Assets(read: old newspapers and magazines) are being sold to fund expenditures.

8. Mergers are the order of the day. Everything from petrol in the bike to a cigarette is willy-nilly being shared. Long rides on the bike in the evenings have become an unaffordable luxury.

US Fed Gov came to the rescue of the big three. Something's got to be done with VKGPL as well. Looking for a saviour...desperately...