Sunday, August 30, 2009

Monkeys wrapped in suits!

"There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others." - Jake Green

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Thy great big one on me!

"Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee ; And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me"

- Robert Frost.


August 26, 2009.

We have just taken a quiz of Managerial Economics. Every passing quiz reinforces my belief that there is no managerial quotient in me, let alone economics. Getting royally screwed up in the quizzes is a fact of life I've have now accepted, willy-nilly. But it hurts bad when the guy with the class's lowest cumulative score in Eco - half of mine - does the proverbial dance on the streets on coming out of the Father Prabhu Hall. Anyway, this post is not about that.


"God has a sense of humor? Of course! It explains everything." - Dogbert

We have less than an hour to prepare a power point presentation for the BFA assignment. The assignment is somehow completed by other members of the group. My task is the power point crap. The very notion that shadowed us throughout the assignment was a simple logic of probability. Only two out of ten groups are going to be selected at random. The odds are stacked in our favour. The event that we would be asked to present is a long shot.

The lecture hall. As the events unfold, only one group will be raped. Probability of being asked to present gets halved to one-tenth! It is now that Pavani (not in our group) bets that we would be the group. We're pretty sure - hell, more than sure, we're convinced - that we're safe. The bet is accepted. We pity Pavani. Brave girl, naive girl!

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." - The Alchemist.


Our group is numbered 9. Over to Sengo and his classic theory of randomization by tossing a seemingly unbiased coin.

Heads : Groups 2,4,6,8,10 ; Tails : Groups 1,3,5,7,9

Tails it is. We're still 80% safe.

Heads : 1,3 ; Tails : 5,7,9

Tails it is. We're 60% safe. I'm convinced. I'm watching an episode of "The Three Stooges" on my laptop. Pavani's ecstatic. Alok's heartbeat shows a bullish trend.

Heads : 5 ; Tails : 7,9

Tails it is for the third time in a row.

The big moment. I turn off my laptop. Its any one's game.


"If anything can possibly go wrong, it will." - Murphy's Law.

Sengo does a somersault by reversing the order. Tails : 7 ; Heads : 9. Now I'm convinced we're secured. I love you Sengo.

The coin is tossed. There's a pin-drop silence. The flight of the coin is closely followed by the class from the moment it makes a snapping noise of Shubham's thumbnail hitting it till it takes a lifetime and Shubham announces...



Monday, August 24, 2009

Gango na karey Sengo Ne Woh Kaam Kiya Hai!

Yet another quiz, yet another fuck-up!

But I wasn't the only one who got screwed up in the Basic Financial Accounting quiz today. The trick that the charismatic Prof. Sabyasachi Sengupta pulled out of his hat caught one and all with our pants down, a qualified C.A., C.S. included.

Sengo, as he is fondly known, is vastly admired for his unparalleled laid back style. He rides a Rajdoot, smokes Navy Cut, takes classes at 6 in the eve, wears oversized shirts over the baggy-pants n worn out slippers. He is the only professor here at XL who doesn't give a flying squirrel's ass to projects, assignments, or class participation. Yet he commands proficiency in all the three from the entire batch. He's totally against the hectic life of the XLers and does his bit by giving workable, though conceptual, quizzes. Sadism is not his cup of tea.

But BFA quiz dated August 24 was different and how!

Panic all around; these were few of the status messages that adorned gtalk :

Vinayak Mehta : Et tu, Sengo!
Aditi Shukla : Last rays of hope are gone.
Vidisha Vijay : From one disaster to another
Avinash Mehra : BFA is BewaFA
Marshal Sonavane : Phir BewaFAi
Meet Kachchy : CFA to pass ho gaya, BFA ka pata nahi!
Sandeep Somisetty : 2 out of 30 in bfa quiz 30 on 45 needed..tuffer than eco now..
Shifa Shalini Tirkey :
Abha Inamdar : Even Ganpati Bappa has given up on me
Abha Inamdar : Ay kaash ki hum hosh mein aa paaye!
Shubham Singhal : I see a distant C,,which i cannot cross coz I dont know how to swim
Ruchika Sinha : Passing accounting suddenly has begun to look like a herculean task !!!
Pathikrit Basu : The Horror!! The horror!!
Rajkamal Roka :
screwed up to bottom
Sakyabrata Dutta : BFA is fast approaching the point of no recovery.

Varun Gupta : Gango na karey Sengo Ne Woh Kaam Kiya Hai!

We're fucked!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Miles To Go And Yet I Sleep!

18th August 2009.

66 days into the expedition that got off the mark with an ecstatic "Yay!" on learning that I had got a single-seater room, we were in for some serious carsickness. Three quizzes on the same day : QT, OB and MM.

A quick sneak-peak at some of the visually unsettling status messages on Gtalk that day :

Aditi Shukla : Teen Tigada Kaam Bigada
Sandeep Somisetty : 3 quizzes in a day...I'm immune now bring it on!
Rishabh Chindalia : Getting screwed the big way...3 quizzes in a day.
Avinash Mehra : Ab toh aadat si hai mujhko Gang(o) Rape ki.
Shifa Shalini Tirkey : No Place to Run :(
Sowmya Srinivasan : To hell with everything!
Shubham Singhal : Sarfaroshi Ki Tamanna Ab Hamare Dil Mein Hai
Shubham Singhal : Jab Sheher Hamara Sota Hai...
Sakyabrata Dutta : Fire @ Ass
Sakyabrata Dutta : Don't even ask!
Veenu Singla : Nights are long!

The status of an intellectually challenged and neurally inept duo read :

Sayan Majumder : Mauja Hi Mauja
Rajkamal Roka : Kya Baat Hai...Maza Aa Gaya :P

The first on the roll was QT at 11am. Bombed! Three questions, Three unknowns. Insult adds to injury when :

Gango : "Howz the paper, Varun?" [I had scored 19 and 23 in the last two 30-markers]
Me : "Ummm...tough"
Gango (with a wicked smile making a ":P" in his mind) : "UMMMMM...TOUGH."

Second, or so I thought, was OB at 5pm. Unsuccessfully attempting to cram the colossus of the syllabus in a couple of hours, I got ready and got out for the quiz. The hostel wing was uncharacteristically silent. Comprehending this to be their punctuality induced reaching-before-time crap, I was on my way when I met Marshall and Avinash returning.

The MM quiz was at 4!

I've scored ducks. I have the shortest attendance in the batch. I've been forbidden to enter the lecture hall n number of times. And now, I've missed quizzes. I've done everything!! Yay, again!