Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Powerpuff Girl!

Breaking News: Heavy duty girl power on display

XLRI, Jan 30-31. Roars of applause on every sentence completed. Shouts of "Unfair" on every below the belt blow to her by "the brotherhood". A brave face, a new face. A fresh zing to everything - a desi tadka. A need for change that suddenly got a voice. Attacks involving unchartered territories fended incredibly. Nervous home team. This was the scene in the Father Prabhu Hall during the marathon elections.

Calm. Composed. One-woman army screwed them all who ganged up against one brave soul who didn't just have the dream but actually gathered up the guts to be the only one who stood up against the "system".

Had the previous show involving six protagonists and six hundred questions - majorly by the candidates' proxies themselves - been a little less unbearable; had people not been off to BishuDa for a quick smoke and tea; had they witnessed the racing-throttle-response by this hell of a lady I have an acquaintance with...who would have been the greatest upset in history!!!

Pyrrhic victory indeed!


"Which were the first and the last companies to visit during this LRP process?" ... LMAO...Get A Life!!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Sorry Shaktiman!

Woke up to an excruciating headache, an apparently unquenchable thirst and nebulous recollections of the last night's dream. Sat up at once, thumbs pressed insanely against the sides of my forehead. Damn, it hurt!!! Springed up to the mirror that showed 2ml of clotted blood and a teeny-weeny microscopic injury possibly caused by a pointed object to the least of my knowledge. It missed the eye by an inch!!!

Water suddenly seemed the rarest commodity on earth. The bottle next to me didn't even have '60ml' - the magic figure that also happened to be the name of a new star in the galaxy of sports lounge bars(link) where yours truly guzzled seven (a truly conservative estimate! possibly eight :P) large vodka pegs on an empty stomach. This was the worst hangover, ever.

I'm never gonna drink again. Sorry Shaktiman!

[Left: 'In it went' ; Right: 'Out it came']

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Saala kab tak chalega?

Pre-Script: This blogpost is as commonplace as you get. You are advised to ignore unless seriously unemployed.

Thanks for reading further. The fact that you are in no hurry and have chosen to read at your own wish and peril, you must be complimented for your taste-induced-trust and ridiculed for an absolute lack of commitments.

The post.

India turns 61 as a sovereign republic. The Constitution turns 61 and so do the perrenial loopholes. The newspapers today will try to highlight the same in ink and colours along with our "glorious past" and "opportunities galore" for the Indian tiger. Piss!

For the same reason, I would abstain from critiquing the senior citizen. Nor would I draft "Vision 2020"s. The post lies midway. Its just a "To-Do" list of sorts. Its just a reminder of what we already know to the last alphabet but somehow slip up. The drop in the limitless ocean never feels guilty. But the weighted average of goddamned consequences just screws the country shitless.

The post will be a success if even one of the tormented readers stops for a while, not to think, but fuckin' act!! Lets take responsibility of the relatively individually insignificant but collectively diastrous footprints of ours that we leave behind through every wrapper/ciggi-butt strewn, every voting franchise missed and every damn action out of the "Chalta hai" attitude. Nahi chalta yaar. Saala kab tak chalega?

# A chewed chewing gum is supposed to be wrapped back in the wrapper and dustbins are supposed to be used.

# You are doing enough damage through pollution and passive smoking while puffing your favourite smoke away. Butts are supposed to be put out and carried back in the pack to the dustbin.

# Vote for christ's sake. Do not be an elitist crib otherwise. You are as redundant in the scheme of things as a "Melty Man" victim. Use the power you have, you impotency-loving self-obsessed freak!

# Plant a sapling in your backyard. Stop breathing otherwise.

# Stop wasting food. You were just born lucky to not starve to death. Count your totally undeserved blessings and pay back.

# In your whole darn life, bring the light of literacy in the life of at least one much less privileged as you are.

# Now when you have survived through this shit, let this imbecility take the logical climax and comment on this god forsaken blogpost!!

So, before you waste hours on today's edition of TOI, get down and do something this Republic Day! Jai Hind!

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

I will pee there!

No're gonna love it!

Copyrights with woodbulb

Woodbulb's channel on Youtube(link). Artistically inclined can try to satisfy their insatiable intellectual appetite by visiting Buffalax's channel(link) as well.