Friday, March 19, 2010

Surveyphobia


A plague has come upon XLRI. And it has its roots in new 'in' thing: 'status' messages. There was a good old time when I looked forward to the hyperlinks in them. It was our desi version of StumbleUpon. Anyone who discovered anything interesting over the web shared it with his e-circle of friends.

But this plague is different. Its called "Survey".

From carbonated drinks to smoking habits, from product placements to IPL and from a new car to a new home, every XLer has been bombarded with questions, the answers to which he has none. The questions are masterpieces in themselves. The best one I came across was"
  • "During the past one month, how long(in minutes) have you usually taken to fall asleep at night?"
ROFL! I would lend my kidney to the person who could possibly answer this. Do notice the couple of words in brackets. "In minutes". Count baby, count.

And the seven-point scales. Phew!

Every morning I open my eyes, I ask myself:
  • "I dont want to wake up."
Staunchly agree/strongly agree/a lil less strongly agree/moderately agree/weakly agree/slightly agree/neutral

If this continues, there would be a time when an XLer would propose to the girl of his dreams in the following fashion:
  • "Rate on a scale of 1 to 7(7 being Strongly Agree). Would you marry me?"
The "surveyors" are leaving no stones unturned to make the survey reach even their mausi-ki-bua-ke-devar-ki-maami-ke-bhatije-ki-beti. Some surveys are even disguised in 'tinyurl's.

Yours truly has also joined the bandwagon. But this one's different. This one is not for market research. This one is for my blog! :)

49 comments:

  1. Awesome!Loved the proposal part :)

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  2. I think the part about the proposal was a witty piece of writing. :P

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  3. @ Sakya: Thanks...for the appreciation and for filling up the survey!

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  4. @ Gurdit :Thanks! I've seen your witty writing...the counting minutes wala masterpiece was from your survey! lol!

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  5. I will just be a survivor and skip the survey part :D

    Good read :)

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  6. :( the survey wasnt that bad! :(

    thanks!

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  7. just awesome....from proposal to survey design.....but just one thing wen u talked about scale of 7 in article then in survey too the scale should have been from 1 to 7... :)

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  8. thank you sir! :)

    haan yaar..should have been a seven pointer...khair koi nahi..agli baar!

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  9. gud 1 dude.
    especally the ending where what was the thing we cudnt get enuf of.

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  10. A very humorous take on something as mundane as market research. You sure have a long way to go, friend :-)

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  11. @ Dassani: Thanks dude! That's my fave part as well! (:

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  12. @ Shyam Sir: Always nice being appreciated by you :) Amen!

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  13. Wt a killing survey :@ :P But, nice post! :) Loved the post, and loved the end of the survey!

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  14. @ Akankha: :P killing it was indeed! thanks! (:

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  15. HILARIOUS MAHN!!!!!!!!!!!!

    YOU MAKE LIFE SEEM SO GREAT EVEN THOUGH I KNOE IT MUST HAVE BEEN A LOAD OF SHIT THERE IN XL,,,,,AWESOME SURVEY ALSO.

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  16. @ SFS: Its just finding some moments of fun in a life that I dont wish to even Shit Rukh! Thanks for the appreciation (:

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  17. Sahi bhankas tha beedu :D i cant to seeem have enough of your blog :)

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  18. Thank you, bhai..that says a lot (:

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  19. I'm all smiles after reading the post and the survey. Pleasant :-)

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  20. At least I got to know what the four most common activites of an XLite are....

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  21. Glsd to know that (: Well more or less, yeah!!

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  22. You nailed it, bud. That's wit: finding awesomeness in apparently mundane happenings around u.

    'LIKE'

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  23. What's life wothout finding sense in the nonsensical madness??

    Thanks!

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  24. Hehe..Loved the survey..Maybe you could take it further eh?
    :D

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  25. Really, proposal wala part mast hai bhai......

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  26. thanks bhai...sab proposal wale part pe kyun atak gaye hain...aise propose mat kar dena...jootey pedenge!

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  27. Hey honestly., I've come across more funnier surveys in the past. They are always weird. Nice post, nice survey.

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  28. by the way, what is your most common axtivity? [last second question]

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  29. I know (: That would have to be sleeping...hands down winner!

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  30. you should have tagged it 'gaucherie' wala tag of yours!

    nice read.

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  31. hehe...
    too good...
    Everytime I fill a survey I have this "daya Bhawna" on ppl like us...Kya pata hum bhi survey leke aa jaayein kabhi bharwaane!

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  32. @ Prajakta: Guess I shoulda! thanks! (:

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  33. @ Sneha: Thanks (:

    That's bad...that's being so selfish! x:

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  34. hehheheee.....gr8 wrk dude...awesumly writtn...and pls..if u propose a gal lyk day...i wnt b a bit surprisd if u end up bein d only bachelor in ur oldage....hahah!!!

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  35. @ Jitika: Well thanks! I'll keep that in my mind! Being a bachelor aint dat bad anyway!

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  36. no its not...m a happy spinster(i'd rather prefer saying 'single' too)...feel too much stress wen it cums to words jus at borderline of marriage...keep writin dis way and you may end up being the next durjoy dutta....not kidding...

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  37. Commitment phobic, eh! koi na, take your time (:

    durjoy datta...ahem ahem!

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  38. yeah, i hav time.....nt commitment phobic though.....i fear wether the guy will run away after knowing the real me....hehe..
    n yeah..durjoy is like my favourite indian writer...so thats the second biggest compliment i can giv u....u write sumthin evn more witty and funny..n u may end up being the next sophie kinsella(excuse the gender) in my books....:)

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  39. lol! ye sab padh lega toh pakka bhag jayega!

    Even I've heard a lot about his bestseller! The problem is I dont read at all! varna padhta zaroor uski book!

    Thanks for the compliment! MEans a lot (:

    and do not kill me for asking this...Who IS sophie kinsella??

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  40. author of the bestseller "shopaholic series"....you'll appreciate her only wen you enter the reder's world and hav a liking for funny, light-hearted stories...but hats off dude...you don't read books and still write so well....dats supa awesum...ur surpassin me jus too fast 4 my likin..i gotta buck up..hehe...but d prblem is i dnt get ideas 2 fast..gotta wait until dimag me kuck click nai hota...

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  41. Achcha haan... heard sometime back! Too girly I guess!

    Ideas toh kabhi nahi aatey...bas keyboard pe ungliyan chalate raho...the web keeps on knitting!! (:

    All the best...expecting the same reguglarity in blogging!

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  42. if by regularity you mean one post once a week...yeah vill try 2 continue doin dat..hopefully...

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  43. By regularity I mean updating ur blog every couple of days!!!! :x

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  44. The survey made me laugh my guts out. Last time I laughed so much was when I read that disclaimer thingy.

    Super!

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  45. Surveys and research...marketers' friends, marketers' woes!

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  46. A year later: new characters, same story

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