Randumb Snippets

I never wear bright colours. Gurdit says that I wear colours resembling a 'dead lizard'. Can somebody explain to me what-in-the-name-of-that-lizard's-arse does it mean? And why does it have to be dead?

--

These are some of the masterstrokes by the genius professors we have out here at XLRI:

• "You would have looked very smart if you hadn't brought your face."
• "When rape is inevitable, its wise to enjoy it."
• "Boss, I can tell you at least maximum(!!!!????) would have done it wrong."
• "Saari Raamayan khatam ho gayi aur tum poochh rahe ho Seeta kiska Baap!"
• "You wretched-face creatures with no sense of dressing and walk in sleep..."
• "The only thing you have learnt in XLRI is how to stand still after a bottle of whiskey."
• "Can you please come down from the House of Lords (last benches, slightly elevated as you go back every level) and sit in the House of Commons (the front benches)?
• "(The graph is) pressed from the top and getting big from the bottom...
• "...but, a very big but..." [if you don't get this last one, Think JLO, think Malaika, think Nicole]

--

Sometimes I think what do the toppers(read: ghissus) get after burning midnight oil (it's a phrase!), slogging till their butt swells up, and giving up on the obvious delicacies of life! Even if they get an 'A' , their CQPI (cumulative grade) comes down! Poor souls! Their life can best be compared to the disclaimers on sleeping pills: "May not cause drowsiness"!! (link)

--

I got this sms a couple of minutes back. "Characteristics of VKG- finds smsing her taxing but blogs every moment. has nothing to talk about to her but adds a new topic to his blog daily. Finds walking with her taxing but goes to jubilee park with friends every week. Listens to everyone's complaints but not her. Will do every other work when with her but when alone, he either does "kuch nahi" or watches movies. Will give advice to everyone but not her."

Poor her! Or, poor me? :P