RanDumb Things About Me!

Inspired by Shifa's post.

• I presently use a pink toothbrush. I think it turns me on, in a good way.
• I think Katrina Kaif was once a man.
• I can never finish the last bite of food. I am somehow too full for it.
• I can go on without keeping in touch with the very few people I like.
• I hate the smell of rum. I love drinking it.
• When drunk, I black-out.
• I feel repulsed to non-vegetarian food.
• I love writing. I find it extremely tough to write the first few lines.
• I dont understand why people keep on listening to instrumentals.
• I visit IMDb at least twice daily.
• I hate to have too many food items on my plate. I would rather have them separately.
• I doze off while talking over the telephone.
• I am always short of topics to talk about.
• Things always sound better in my head than when I say them.
• My foot just loves my mouth.
• I cant multitask.
• I can have egg rolls four times a day, 365 days a year.
• I don't believe in the concept of 'days' - valentine's day, mothers's day, chairs's day, slippers' day et al - even birthdays!
• I cannot untie knots.
• I once had butterscotch with ketchup. I loved it.
• I love being alone. I just hate silence when I'm not.
• Sometimes I wish there were remote controls for everything, especially for the itch at the centre of my spinal cord.
• My favourite place on earth is my bed.
• I absolutely hate hangovers.
• I desperately wish someone comforts the eternal crybaby - Enrique Uglysias.
• I hate to walk. Wheels are undoubtedly the best invention ever.
• I punch my bed/the wall almost daily on waking up. I hate it.
• I love staring at my computer screen doing nothing at all.
• I read and edit my blog daily. I'm too finicky with that.
• I have a 1.44 MB memory.
• People normally call me up on their birthdays to remind me to wish them.
• I always have a hellish time finding keys. Thanks to XL for electronic locks.
• I love batting and even fielding. I hate bowling. I'm a bowler.
• I study for a twenty-mark quiz but do not for two ten-markers.
• I am a spoilt brat. I hate it when things do not go as expected.
• I don't want to hurt people and yet I hate political correctness.
• There are a few things that hurt me. I think about them all the time.
• I just cant play chess/volleyball.
• I like to have cucumber slices with pickle.
• I almost always eat mushroom when I eat outside.
• I hate to watch animated movies. Yuck!
• I do not drink even a litre of water in a day.
• I abhor astrology/zodiac like hell. I read my orkut fortune daily.
• I just cant sit still while talking over the phone.
• I freak out when my bed's not made up. I'm obsessed with matched bedsheets and pillow covers.
• I hate wearing a helmet while riding a bike.
• I want to be an agent in the Secret Service.
• I fail to understand the reason behind having pets. I hate them.
• I hate skipping meals.
• I do not have a driving license or a passport.
• Its excruciatingly irritating when a tune just gets stuck in my head and I cant sing the words. I keep on humming instead.
• I cant roll my tongue.
• The one thing I hate the most in this world is a snooze button. I'm, effectively, immune to alarms.
• I hate wearing socks. I'm generally found in my sandals.
• I wear odd socks nine out of ten times.
• I have never spent more than a minute at crosswords. I just hate them.
• I have solved a Sudoku puzzle just once.
• The busier my life, the more time I waste, the more I blog.
• I'm too easily satisfied and yet I'm never happy.
• I don't know what I want. I know what I don't.
• I plan. Then I plan more. I never work.
• I'm an open book but the text is encrypted. I'm always misunderstood.
• I haven't watched a single episode of 'Chandrakanta', 'Surbhi' or 'Shanti'.
• I have actually never watched a single Mel Gibson, Stallone or Arnold movie.
• I've never had schezwan. I don't know what it looks like.
• I hate smokers. I smoke.
• I hate people. I'm one of them.

Dyin' For A Living

- Written, Composed and Performed by Varun Gupta

Out exclusively on Broken Records

Download Song (Apologies for the obvious things :P)

Lyrics:

I see people all around me

I see lots of them.

Everybody’s goin’ crazy

Everywhere is a new mayhem.

All the time they’re runnin’

It’s not their fault;

They’re dyin’ for a living

Nothing’s under control.

All I want to say, All I want to do,

Is to make them realize, none of this is true.

I would say to them, “Look around you,

Think of the best things, may be count a few...

You can wake up

With the woman you love;

Kiss her good morning

While she’s still not up.

You can see the birds

Heading back to home;

And Think of your children

Waitin till you come.

You can watch the rain

Thinkin’ what it was like;

When you were a kid of eight

And you realize

It was a lot better

You were in no hurry;

There wasn’t a deadline

There was no worry...

Change

This was what I scribbled on a piece of paper in Gurdit's notepad while listening to Michael Ferreira. Just wanted to share...

Change

- Written and composed by Varun Gupta

Out exclusively on Broken Records.

Does it really...

...make a difference...

...how the times are strange?

Do you ever feel...

...honestly...

...it's for you to change?

It's a place where everybody's

Busy dealing or stealing,

Where if you aren't somebody

Then dude, you are nobody!

Do you ever stop...

...stop and think...

...where we're going to?

Is there anything...

...anyone...

...of us can do???

-X-

Soemthing not really related to the context...but can be used to convey the message...of a desperately needed change:

Lost Generation

Oh! If only I can!

Chapter 1: JLT, Wet Night, Inglourious Basterds

There's a few feet wide path that separates the Father Enright Men's Residence from the JLT - Just Like That. It refers to the lush green lawn and the area surrounding it. Its the heart of XL - the sacrosanct place that holds a special place in every XLer's heart.

JLT

Its a Wet Night tonight at JLT. It refers to an inseparable part of XL culture. We booze and dance all night long. But this wet night is different. It was preceded by a Bodhi Tree performance (JLT again!). It rocked in patches. There was the God on drums. The national anthem on electric guitars literally gave me goosebumps. But I wasn't in the mood for the most part. I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't myself. I wasn't me.

I have decided to give this Wet Night a miss. A Bishu-Da egg roll, a Mongini's Keyk, a smoke and Inglourious Basterds. It was screened yesterday (JLT, again!) but I had to leave it midway. So I finish off with it today. Kilasik!!! I bow to thee, Lord Quintin Tarantinou!

Chapter 2: Crap!

I go out to brush my teeth. Its 4 am. Coming back, I realize I've been locked outside thanks to the electronic lock. The looooong quest for the Bahadur bhaiya begins. He holds the key to the sacred land of Room No. 406; and he's always at the last place you look. In this case, I walk for around a kilometre to find him a ten feet from the hostel! But the walk's a much needed one. I reflect a lot.

Chapter 3: Reflections!

Ensemble, our fest had gotten over today and the chief guest for the closing ceremony was the former billiards world champ Michael Ferreira. Speaking on the theme of "Integrity and Initiative", the instances that he narrated from his life shook me from within.

There was nothing new. Zilch. But somehow he managed to make me realize that even someone like me who prided himself for not resigning to the sorry state of affairs had actually done the same. Its too easy to scribble here on the blogosphere, condemning the modern day demons like Koda. But what have I done to deserve the right to comment under the aegis of free expression?

An MBA followed by an exhausting job. That's what my life is going to be. An "executive" - hitting the treadmill in the morning to control the blood pressure and cholesterol levels from skyrocketing; rushy breakfasts; projects after projects; brands after brands; promotions; parties; politics; sleeping pills - with a debilitated personal life. I'll swear at the bureaucracy whenever the projects hit roadblocks and then un-hopefully leverage the same to my advantage at other times.

Chapter 4: Oh! If only I can!

But I'll make a difference. At an infinitesimal, individual level. I will stay true to my core values and be the same person I am today. I wont let my morals to go rot for materialistic one-upmanship. I'll stop when the signal is red regardless of the absence of khaki. I'll refuse to bend the system by finding legal but unethical loopholes. I won't bribe - even under the direst circumstances. I will search for dustbins. I will vote.

Oh! If only I can!

Michael Ferreira says that if you can change just one person by your upright behaviour, your work is done. Fingers crossed.

Googly - Part 2

Read The Part 1 here.

--

Yet another masterpiece from Google. Without much ado, here's the thing.

Search for "why" on Google. These are among the ten top most suggestions by Google based on the most number of searches. Friggin' unbelievable!

• Why are Indians so smart? :D
• Why are Indians hated?
• Why are Indians so ugly?
• Why are Indians obsessed with fairness?
• Why are Indians so cheap?

Why, in the name of crap, is the world obsessed with us?? The cherry, and as a matter of fact, the most searched : WHY MBA? (Anyone who has cleared an MBA entrance examination is familiar with this blood-sucking parasite of a question. Others might not relate to it.)

The riot continues. Search for "Why women". The funniest suggestions:

• WHY WOMEN BECOME FAT AFTER MARRIAGE!!!!
• Why women cheat?
• Why women have affairs in their 30s?

And now the dilemma of Julia Roberts in Notting Hill.

• Why men like breasts?
• Why men are attracted to breasts?
• Why men love breasts?

Its an earnest appeal to the intellectually controversial species. Give your quest a break. You'll never be able to work it out.

Finally, Google Pakistan. A millio times funnier. Have a look. You can at once sympathise with the traumas of the females and the curiousity in the males. Cheers :)

Confessions Of A Naysayer's Mind

You showed up all naked and whiny one sucky day. You were wedged out, leaving the best sanctuary behind. You were introduced to this harsh planet with a slap on the butt - literally. Spanking, actually! You were forced to dress up for the first time in your life, hitherto living it up in peace. All you did was sleep and drink through a straw. And even that "supply chain" was cut off now. That was your birth-day.

Now, why is this celebrated? Whats the friggin' deal? Is it really worth it? What on earth is one's contribution in being born? What accomplishment is being acknowledged/appreciated? I can see just one.

You were the only one (usually) among the millions who actually got through the antivirus, if you know what I mean. You did what a million others couldn't. If you don't get what I mean to say: one, have a frickin' common sense and two, this is for you:

Next, Birthday wishes.

You schizo. You hallucinating self-obsessed freaky egotist with delusions of adequacy. Do you think you control this universe? Can your mere wishing bring happiness to one's life?

Or, do you refer to "wishing" as praying to God. So you mean to say you actually spend some time praying to God that the day goes happy for someone else? Dude, come on!

And, why just that day? Why can't you wish that someone stays happy all his life? Does it not imply an ulterior motive of yours? Do you actually mean to wish "Sad rest of the year!"?

Even if your demented personality doesn't allow to let him stay in peace for the rest of the year for some inexplicable reason, why wish on just that day? Why can't you wish on any regular day, whenever you catch hold of him?

And what's with the handshakes? Is it some weird method of passing on the power to be happy on the day that expires as soon as the clock strikes twelve?

I just don't get it.
P.S. : Its my birthday soon. Do not forget to wish :P

I promise I will...

- Written and composed by Varun Gupta

The most important, most special song that I ever wrote. She said a "Yes!"

I will wake you up with a coffee in bed,

Every once in a while, I will do the dishes;

I promise we'll watch all your favourite shows together,

I'll keep all the stuff back in their places.

I promise I will...

I promise I will...

I promise I will...

I will hold your hair back when you wanna throw up,

When you feel like coughing, I'll get ya cough syrup; [:P]

I will stash my work away and help ya in the crossword,

I'll keep looking at you when you take hours on make-up.

I promise I will...

I promise I will...

I promise I will...

I will hold you close when the movie's scary,

I will read stories to you when you can't sleep baby;

I'll be back on time from office, bring your favourite flowers,

I will take holidays and we'll visit your mommy...

I wanna grow old with you...

I really wanna grow old with you...

Will you grow old with me...

Will you...grow old with me...