Confessions Of A Naysayer's Mind

You showed up all naked and whiny one sucky day. You were wedged out, leaving the best sanctuary behind. You were introduced to this harsh planet with a slap on the butt - literally. Spanking, actually! You were forced to dress up for the first time in your life, hitherto living it up in peace. All you did was sleep and drink through a straw. And even that "supply chain" was cut off now. That was your birth-day.

Now, why is this celebrated? Whats the friggin' deal? Is it really worth it? What on earth is one's contribution in being born? What accomplishment is being acknowledged/appreciated? I can see just one.

You were the only one (usually) among the millions who actually got through the antivirus, if you know what I mean. You did what a million others couldn't. If you don't get what I mean to say: one, have a frickin' common sense and two, this is for you:

Next, Birthday wishes.

You schizo. You hallucinating self-obsessed freaky egotist with delusions of adequacy. Do you think you control this universe? Can your mere wishing bring happiness to one's life?

Or, do you refer to "wishing" as praying to God. So you mean to say you actually spend some time praying to God that the day goes happy for someone else? Dude, come on!

And, why just that day? Why can't you wish that someone stays happy all his life? Does it not imply an ulterior motive of yours? Do you actually mean to wish "Sad rest of the year!"?

Even if your demented personality doesn't allow to let him stay in peace for the rest of the year for some inexplicable reason, why wish on just that day? Why can't you wish on any regular day, whenever you catch hold of him?

And what's with the handshakes? Is it some weird method of passing on the power to be happy on the day that expires as soon as the clock strikes twelve?

I just don't get it.
P.S. : Its my birthday soon. Do not forget to wish :P