Confessions Of A Bloody Erection

I'm a man's worst foe. Damn, you say and I come into your life. Sometimes, you just fear me. I'm quite fond of making appearances at the wrong places at the wrong time. Sometimes you call me up, subconsciously. At others, it's not your fault. I come uninvited. I just love fooling around with your psyche. I love it when you really gotta pee, but you cant get up. I drool over situations when you are with your parents watching television and your dad asks you to get a glass of water. That's my all time favourite time of appearance. And at such times, I make sure that the more you wish I go away, the more I wake up. I’m the reason wallets now are being promoted to the pockets in front. If you are a new client, I love making surprise visits. With acquaintance, I tend to make you more comfortable and listen to you more. Gradually I handover my autonomy to you and surrender myself to your whims and fancies. But for that, you need to train me just like a Ninja gets trained – who is seen only when he wishes to be. From being a master, I’m now your slave. Well, almost.

I'm a man's best friend. Aloha, I say, and come into your life. Sometimes, you just love me. I provide you with confidence in the hour of need. I do fail you at times but that's just too naughty of me. Don't panic as I do it with everyone. How else on earth am I supposed to prove my worth? I'm just a call away, though. You gotta call it right. And when you or your special someone does, I appear in my full majesty bringing smiles all around. If it weren't for me, life would be so hard, pun intended. I am not so kind to everyone, especially if you have spent a considerable time on earth. But the medicos have come up with a stimulant. You know, I have weaknesses as well, na. Its the V-word. It makes me weak at the knees and facilitates my appearance whenever I want to ditch some old bugger. Anyway, I love spreading joy, happiness and ecstasy. If it weren't for me, the world's favourite and the oldest sport would be so hard, pun intended again. And there wouldn't be any life. I'm the creator.

I'm full of blood. That makes me Erection, Bloody Erection. And just like Mr. 007, I like it ‘shaken, not stirred’.